Elevate your hand in the event you’ve ever been instructed you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too formidable. Too… you.
For lots of ladies, that’s the cue to start out shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, lovely edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We be taught to censor our jokes, cover our large desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves will likely be rejected.
However right here’s the tough-love, liberating fact: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 cause you are feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.
Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one method to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and eventually dial down your stress for good.
The Drawback With Shrinking Your self
Continually enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On high of holding again the true you, you’re expending an enormous quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.
Each time you chunk your tongue, fake a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your valuable vitality reserves.
This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even if you’re surrounded by folks.
The reality? You’re primarily in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the folks round you might be responding to that pretend model. That, my good friend, is a recipe for deep loneliness.
Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter
If you cease apologizing to your enthusiasm, ardour, or large, generally messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.
Friendships
This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer to your ambition as a substitute of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re totally seen and understood with out judgment.
Partnerships
In love, this implies discovering a companion who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you might be—not the individual you fake to be. The proper companion will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)
Communities
In your bigger group, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, guide membership, or a web-based house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic adjustments.
If you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or depart it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your folks. Those who depart? They have been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.
Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress
Embracing your “too much-ness” can be some of the highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.
If you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you are feeling, you unlock huge quantities of psychological bandwidth.
-
As an alternative of agonizing over whether or not you need to ship your good friend that nerdy article you really liked—you simply ship it, and so they get excited too.
-
As an alternative of hiding your large enterprise concept—you share it, and all of the sudden the precise connection seems.
-
As an alternative of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your companion rises to fulfill you.
That is what dwelling authentically looks like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.
Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving
Being “an excessive amount of” shouldn’t be a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve got a strong gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.
Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that can entice your folks.
So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.
What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex
Need a Secure Area to Be Absolutely You?
When you’re prepared to fulfill your soul household TODAY and begin working towards full expression in a secure teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a whole module on this very subject—so you’ll be able to apply it in actual life and really feel grounded whilst you do it. Be taught extra and be part of our highly effective group right here.
