Pleased Independence Day Gross sales Occasion Weekend, all people!
I’ll quickly go away you to pedal off into a blinding pyrotechnic show of each freedom and financial savings, however earlier than I do I’m happy to announce that I’ve determined to purchase a bicycle firm:
I imply why the hell not, proper?
Since 2008, Alchemy has been producing premium, distinctive, and lust-worthy mountain, highway, and gravel bikes. With present fashions, together with the versatile Arktos path bike platform and the Lycos gravel bike, and older fashions just like the Ronin gravel and Helios highway bike, the model has been crafting stunning frames in each carbon and titanium for years.
Pending acceptance of my $1,500 supply, I’ve already reviewed their lineup, and I’ll be axing this bike:
And this bike:
For that matter, I’ll be axing all their bikes, since there are a couple of gazillion firms additionally providing almost an identical iterations of all the things they promote As an alternative, I’ll supply one mannequin and one mannequin solely, that being a traditional metal highway bike. Are you aware it’s almost not possible to get a traditional metal highway bike with rim brakes these days? (Nicely, a brand new one, anyway.) For instance, Surly used to supply the Pacer:
Are you aware what they provide now? This:
Look, you understand me. You realize I’m not fussy relating to aesthetics. You realize I’m type of a dirtbag who doesn’t clear his bikes and tolerates all types of mismatched elements. However candy fancy Moishe that headtube/fork combo is against the law in opposition to humanity:
Like critically, no one needs to be allowed to promote one thing that ugly.
Then once more I most likely don’t even must hassle with the traditional metal highway bike as a result of the one you continue to should buy doesn’t actually go away any room for enchancment:
Although a chook did handle to defile its beautiful lugwork:
I don’t know the way it managed to hit the seat lug of all locations, however I’m going to go forward and take into account it an indication of excellent luck.
Have an awesome vacation weekend, trip protected, and will your personal good omens manifest themselves in a extra sanitary vogue.
–Tan Tenovo
