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Tuesday, November 4, 2025

How Low Can You Go? – Bike Snob NYC


One thing like eight years in the past now, I wrote the semenal Outdoors column, “Bicycle Suspension Is Evil:”

The biking world was outraged, with one Pinkbike editor even writing a complete counter-column about how silly I used to be, so naturally I adopted it up with a bunch of equally contrarian and by-product columns aimed toward bitter older readers comparable to:

  • “Carbon Is Contemptuous”
  • “Disc Brakes are Despicable”
  • “Built-in Backside Brackets Are Infernal”
  • “The Hyperlink Between Digital Shifting And Impotence That No person Desires To Discuss About”
  • “Torque Fasteners Make Me Really feel Oddly Uncomfortable”

So it’s with some trepidation I’m now sharing with you that I’ve lastly surrendered, and that there’s a full suspension mountain bike en path to me as I kind this. No, I’m not able to inform you what it’s but, however I’ll say it’s not solely fairly high-end but in addition bursting with cutting-edge know-how. And no, it’s not a Softride:

Although that jogs my memory I ought to most likely verify in with the man who received it and see how issues are going:

I’m wondering if he’s nonetheless beaming like he’s within the picture.

Hey, I mentioned “beaming,” did you catch that?

Certain you probably did.

Within the meantime, I’m nonetheless driving a primitive highway bike and struggling to determine why I prefer it a lot:

I want I understood bikes and what makes them trip properly as deeply and profoundly as skilled bike reviewers do:

Hopefully he washed the bodily fluids off that bike earlier than he gave it again.

I imply it’s not like I’m completely ignorant. For instance, I do know from studying critiques that you need to all the time use titanium cranks to cut back ankle fatigue:

Or if titanium is just too expensive, you need to not less than use a sq. taper crank:

I misplaced IQ factors simply studying that.

Folks typically complain about how bike firms market racing bikes to the common schmuck. Certain, it’s foolish, however I don’t actually have an issue with it. As a median (at finest) schmuck myself, I do know all too properly that alternatives to really feel distinctive are few and much between. So if driving a racing bike makes you are feeling particular then think about your self fortunate, as a result of even for those who lack each cash and expertise, getting your self on knowledgeable high quality bike is a reasonably attainable purpose. A Method 1 automotive prices tens of millions of {dollars} and you’ll’t even drive it anyplace, however an S-Wanks Venge Schmenge or its 2025 equal shouldn’t be solely grime low cost by comparability, however so long as you’ll be able to steadiness a two-wheeler you’re free to trip it up and down the native bike path all day lengthy. Certain, there was a time once you might need been thought-about a menace for yelling “In your left!” at youngsters on steadiness bikes, however due to e-bikes no one even notices roadies anymore.

Nevertheless, it does get a bit ridiculous when the individuals reviewing the professional race bikes complain about how they’re solely fitted to professional racers:

Apparently designing a WorldTour bike that’s not snug sufficient for common schmucks or “somebody who exams race bike as their job” and even explaining forward of time that it’s “just for about 20% of customers” is “unnecessarily alienating:”

That is like reviewing a pair of hockey skates and complaining they’re alienating as a result of they’re too troublesome to stroll in. Why are individuals who don’t race bikes even reviewing race bikes and assigning arbitrary numbers to them anyway?

That’s positive is an unnecessarily sophisticated method to say “Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already.”

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