They are saying garments make the person, however the fact is that man makes the garments–besides in Soviet Union, the place in fact garments make you:
However in any other case, sure, in case you’re on the lookout for garments, you have to a person to make them for you–although once I say “man” I’m together with ladies and youngsters, since that’s who’s in all probability making them more often than not. However there’s one man whose title has lengthy been synonymous with clothes, and it’s emphatically not vogue icon Ernesto Colnago, proven right here stopping a bicycle with no kickstand from falling over right into a swimming pool:
However, now you possibly can lastly buy the Colnago wardrobe of your goals:
Okay, firstly, Tour de France winners don’t favor one bike over one other; they journey what they’re given. Sure, a long time in the past, within the age of metallic bikes, a rider who was profitable and choosy sufficient may need a framebuilder make him a motorcycle to his specs and put the sponsor’s title on it, however these days got here to an finish with the arrival of carbon fiber. Secondly, whereas I might be flawed about this, previous to Pogačar, I believe you’d need to go all the best way again to love 1974 to discover a Tour de France-winning Colnago:
[From Classic Cycle]
Whenever you consider Tour de France-winning Italian bicycles you consider Pinarello:
Whenever you consider Classics-winning Italian bicycles, that’s once you consider Colnago:
[*Comedically loud Homer Simpson whisper* “I think they might have been on drugs.”]
Okay, advantageous, no matter. That apart, Colnago is introducing a “capsule assortment of city clothes:”
It’s all “in navy and black,” presumably for max cat hair visibility, although presumably to ensure you additionally purchase the brand new Colnago carbon fiber lint curler with ceramic bearings:
These mini-rollers are all nicely and good, however I miss the times of full-sized rollers and frames that got here with lint curler pegs.
As for the “capsule assortment,” the photographs within the article have been encouraging, and featured the standard pictures of fashions carrying their bicycles for some motive and searching off into the space like somebody they actually don’t like is looking their title from throughout the road:
So I visited the web site for the gathering, which solely exceeded my already excessive expectations. For instance, how a lot would you pay for a trenchcoat that makes you seem like both a Gestapo officer or the world’s most debonair flasher, relying in your facial hair?
Properly, if it’s any lower than $2,337, then sorry, no trench for you.
Or maybe a polo is extra your velocity?
At $585 you possibly can’t afford not to purchase it.
You realize, since you’re already broke from shopping for the trenchcoat
The sector jacket not less than is definitely inexpensive at $99.99:
Oh wait, sorry, that’s a discipline jacket from a uniform provide.
The Colnago discipline jacket is $1,700:
Solely barely cheaper than this “varsity jacket,” as a result of nothing says “Biking” and “Italy” like a varsity jacket:
All of that is extremely compelling, and clearly I purchased two of every (you want an additional when one’s on the dry cleaner due to the cat hair), although I used to be deeply upset that they didn’t embrace a extremely costly model of Ernesto’s signature sweater vest:
Regardless, I suppose you possibly can anticipate stuff like this once you promote your model to an Abu Dhabi funding fund:
And need to attraction to a brand new demographic:
And please be aware I’m not criticizing Ernesto for promoting his model to an funding agency. He completely deserves to money in. I’d promote this weblog to an funding agency in a heartbeat, and in the event that they tried to promote you a $5,000 Tan Tenovo City Fishing Vest I wouldn’t lose a wink of sleep:
By the best way, I put “Sultry Mannequin With A Bicycle Modeling The Bike Snob NYC City Fishing Vest” into the AI and right here’s what I obtained:
I believe I simply found out how they designed the Colnago capsule assortment.
Talking of senior residents, I simply occurred to be watching a video of Woody Allen, and in it he shares his emotions about bikes:
“I by no means had a motorcycle, I by no means wished a motorcycle, I at all times hated bikes…”
That is notably fascinating since moments earlier than he had talked about how he used to curler skate to Ebbets Area, and when you think about that curler skates in these days have been simply metallic wheels you strapped to your toes you’ve obtained to understand simply how deep his dedication to hating bicycles should have been:
It’s like wiping your nostril with sandpaper since you hate tissues.
Moreover, it’s a dedication he’s maintained nicely into the twenty first century.
By the best way, of all my many accomplishments, maybe none is bigger than having been in comparison with each Lance Armstrong and Woody Allen by a Canadian newspaper:
And folks surprise why no one trusts the media anymore…
