Yesterday I discussed L’Eroica, and at this time I got here throughout this:
L’Eroica? No, L’Intrepida!
An entire different classic experience? I had no concept there was a Shimano to L’Eroica’s Campagnolo. It has all of it, too: the hairnets, the handlebar mustaches, the tubular tire bras…
“Strung out and sweating?” Are they driving or present process heroin withdrawal? Additionally, should you’ll look carefully this rider is utilizing [clutches tubular tire bra] DUAL-PIVOT BRAKES:
I observed it even earlier than his cockeyed proper foot–and I would add that as a classic footwear fanatic his trendy sneakers additionally offended me. It may very well be why he’s having hassle stepping into his toe clip. I imply a few of us exit of our technique to be as pretentious period-correct as potential:
I made a Poshmark account to purchase these for chrissakes!
However sure, if it’s a pre-1987 experience then the dual-pivot brake wouldn’t be kosher as these didn’t come out till, what, 1990 or so? Additionally, if nothing else, should you’re going to make use of non-aero brake levers, connecting them to a dual-pivot brake looks as if a little bit of regardless of the Italian equal of a fake pas is.
And look, I do know it’s actually concerning the spirit of the factor, and that it’s foolish to get hung up on dates and all that stuff, however what can I say? It’s disgusting and offensive and repugnant and shouldn’t be allowed. I actually hope the Italian authorities cracks down on the experience and doesn’t enable it to run subsequent yr, as a result of that kind of historic revisionism is downright harmful.
[Intern: Insert “Just Kidding” image here.]
And if all that wasn’t dangerous sufficient, the article badly mischaracterizes the Kestrel 4000:
“Japan’s Shimano company?!?” EGADS!!! I didn’t experience a Kestrel 4000 with a low gear of 42×21 by means of the mountains of Switzerland just for the mighty Vengeance Bike to be slandered like that:
Did I point out I did all of it with a low gear of 42×21?
As a result of I did:
Simply thought I’d point out that in case you forgot.
Anyway, all of that is to say I’d simply assumed that L’Eroica owned the idea of driving classic street bikes outright, and now I really feel like an fool for sending them a royalty each time I experience the Cervino. In truth, now that I do know it’s allowed, not solely am I going to chop their royalty funds in half, however I’m additionally considering of beginning my very own classic experience. I’ve even obtained a reputation for it:
L’Irritabile
There received’t be a strict date cutoff, for the reason that experience will probably be extra about having enjoyable than the rest, however should you present up with a pair of dual-pivot brakes so assist me I’ll kill you.
Then once more, does the world want one more classic experience the place everybody’s carrying wool and driving lugged metal bikes? Possibly I’ll do a classic crabon experience as an alternative. I’ll name it “Il Giro di Dispetto,” and it’ll be a giant vaffanculo to all of the individuals who predicted these bikes would have catastrophically failed by now. (Although it might be fairly ironic if all of them failed on the experience, which is why you’ll should signal an iron-clad waiver. Sure, the waiver will probably be clad in iron–none of that crabon crap!) Or perhaps I’ll be much more particular and arrange a experience for Y-Foils solely:
Clearly I’d name that one the “Oglio Della Moglie.”
[Intern: go get me a sandwich. Also, go find an Italian and verify these translations.]
Talking of going again in time, bear in mind Rob Ford?
For those who don’t, he used to look frequently on the pages of this weblog (or a minimum of its predecessor), and right here’s the TLDR: he was the mayor of Toronto, he completely hated bike lanes, he had a keenness for crack, and he died in 2016. Nicely, little did I do know that his brother Doug is continuous the custom (of hating bike lanes, anyway, I don’t know concerning the crack):
Firstly, what’s it with Canadians having brothers named Doug?
[Yes, my references are seriously dated. This is because I apply the L’Eroica concept to my prose.]
Secondly, that is simply disgusting:
“Taken a again seat!?!” I object to this car-centric language which may be very hurtful to cyclists, and I demand all municipal workers and journalists endure sensitivity coaching instantly. As of now the next “innocent” colloquialisms shall be deemed UNACCEPTABLE:
Take A Again Seat
As an alternative, say “drafting” or “wheelsucking”
Pump Your Brakes
That is offensive and othering to cyclists, who squeeze their brakes…although I assume now that hydraulic disc brakes are taking up you may need to pump your brakes should you’ve obtained air within the strains
Pedal To The Steel
Not solely don’t cyclists apply energy this fashion, however motorists colonized the phrase pedal from us. Satirically although we’re advantageous with throttles due to e-bikes, go determine, so simply say ” twist the throttle” or “have interaction the pedal help” as an alternative, I assume
Disappearing In The Rear View Mirror
For those who should allude to a mirror, a minimum of specify a helmet mirror
Keep In Your Lane
It is a reference to highways, that are racist, divide communities, and trigger local weather change. Additionally, cyclists can’t “keep of their lane” as a result of there’s often a automobile in it. Say “get out of the bike lane” as an alternative.
And at last, talking of staying out of the bike lane and being aggrieved, one other bike owner has been despatched into “hurt’s method:”
Not solely was @NYPD78Pct parked within the bike lane (sending this bike owner into hurt’s method) however the officers didn’t ticket the illegally parked vehicles additional east (within the background). What’s up, @NYPDTransport? pic.twitter.com/X6h8XiwCNl
— Streetsblog New York (@StreetsblogNYC) October 28, 2024
Wow, seems terrifying. Maybe the rider would have a better time returning to the bike lane if there weren’t a photographer standing in it.
Sorry, I ought to most likely keep in my lane.
