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Tuesday, September 16, 2025

A Bridge Too Far – Bike Snob NYC

A Bridge Too Far – Bike Snob NYC


On Wednesday I discussed Jeremy Vine so I figured I’d verify in on what the previous boy’s been as much as, and I used to be under no circumstances shocked to study that he stays aggrieved:

Now I ought to level out that as an American I do know completely nothing about Jeremy Vine’s broadcasting profession; I solely learn about his bicycling exploits. So any feedback I make about him are solely on this context. Additionally, I consider that when bicycling, folks ought to be at liberty to dress themselves any method they select, and I actually veer from “regular” avenue clothes to full fits of stretchy technical clothes–generally in the identical day! On the identical time, I can’t assist asking…why the hell can’t this man simply gown regular whereas he’s using round London for chrissakes?

That’s high-quality if you wish to gown like a SCUBA diver who’s gloved as much as administer a prostate examination, however he’s a public determine, and this getup displays poorly on all of us. I notice the helmet cam or no matter he makes use of distorts issues significantly, and possibly is simply sporting comparatively regular garments and it solely appears to be like bizarre due to the gadget he’s utilizing. However both method, whether or not it means tweaking his wardrobe or his lens, if he might current himself much less freakishly and extra proportionately I believe it will go a great distance in the direction of incomes each himself and the remainder of us a bit of extra respect.

Superficial issues apart, this time Vine’s downside appears to be the bike lane on the Westminster Bridge, which seems to be the equal of the Brooklyn Bridge bike path in that it’s filled with vacationers:

In fact, New York Metropolis truly solved the issue of vacationer/bicyclists conflicts on the Brooklyn Bridge by giving the trail and all its panoramic views fully over to the vacationers and giving the bicyclists a completely separate and non-scenic path on the roadway:

If I sound bitter or cynical about this I’m under no circumstances–this can be a excellent and pragmatic answer, even when advocates act prefer it’s an unmitigated catastrophe as a result of generally there’s a puddle in it:

However I collect London has not carried out an identical answer and so Mr. Vine should cease repeatedly as he makes his method throughout the span.

To his credit score, he’s very well mannered and thoughtful, in contrast to that COMPLETE ASSHOLE on the Brooklyn Bridge who used to make movies of himself singing loudly and as soon as hit a bit of woman. However to the vacationers’ credit score they’re additionally fairly thoughtful, as a result of they finally do transfer, and would you progress for this? I’m unsure that I might:

He appears to be like like he’s on his strategy to Lugash to steal the Pink Panther:

Unusually, Vine additionally notes that the pedestrians are “principally not from this nation,” which in these overly delicate occasions one may try and interpret as some type of xenophobia. I’m not overly delicate, nor do I believe he meant something unfavorable by it, although I do suppose it’s ironic he feels compelled to level out they’re principally not from this nation when he appears to be like like he’s principally not from this planet:

I do nevertheless take situation together with his characterization of 1 vacationer as a “impolite American:”

His crime? Asking, “The place are you from?” and never liking his scorching canine:

Besides within the case of Don Rickles when “The place are you from?” was instantly adopted by a slew of ethnic jokes, asking this query is just well mannered discourse in America. Additionally, “What sort of hotdog is that this?” is a good query, since British delicacies is certainly deeply vexing. I keep in mind the primary time I visited London possibly 30 years in the past and noticed that they put corn on their pizza. I discovered this stunning–much more so than pineapple, which is a well-liked pizza topping in sure cultural backwaters right here in Canada’s bum bag–and so “What sort of pizza is that this?” would have been a superbly affordable query for me to ask. Because it occurs, I didn’t ask it, however I did order a slice utilizing customary New York food-ordering protocol, which is to say: “Lemme get [insert food item here].” (This may increasingly sound brusque, nevertheless it’s all within the supply.) To my shock, the individual ready behind me discovered this offensive and lectured me for being impolite. I suppose that is the primary distinction between our two nations: they suppose it’s impolite to not say “please” and “thanks” gratuitously, and we predict it’s impolite to not thoughts your personal enterprise, although I suppose we take folks minding their very own enterprise as a right over right here as a result of if you happen to don’t you stand a reasonably good probability of being shot.

So minimize the American vacationer some slack, is all I’m saying. He’s clearly a large doofus, however I don’t suppose he was being impolite.

Additionally he may shoot you.

All of that is to say none of this actually struck me as a “circus” that “defies description,” and my impression didn’t change when the driving force of a Vary Rover truly stops for him:

The thought of a Vary Rover driver stopping for a bicyclist in New York Metropolis is totally unthinkable.

Nonetheless, as Vine ends his journey, he concludes, “This cycle lane scares the residing daylights out of me.”

The sensation is mutual, bizarre Area Man.

You need scary? Ping me when this occurs:

Somebody should have had a nasty scorching canine.



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