When the hell was somebody gonna inform me it’s “Biketober?”
It’s dangerous sufficient no one advised me that the Rev-X was again.
I notably like how the information man lets his private biases slip in, and that he’s clearly incensed by all of the riders who aren’t utilizing helmets and lights and are subsequently accountable for their very own deaths.
I imply everyone knows the explanation bike deaths are up is due to e-bikes:
Or am I?
Both method, I went to the DOT web site to study extra about this entire “Biket Ober” factor, which seems like a Jewish vacation:
You understand, there’s nothing extra annoying than individuals who remind you they’re taxpayers, however I’M A TAXPAYER, DAMN IT! And whereas most of my fellow taxpayers-who-gratuitously-remind-you-that-they’re-taxpayers are complaining about how they’re spending all our cash on illegals or gender reassignment surgical procedure for toddlers or instructing Crucial Race Principle to pets or no matter, what I’d actually prefer to know is how a lot cash we’ve thrown away thus far by making a gift of 300,000 freaking bicycle helmets. No matter what you might consider bike helmets, what sort of sign does that ship? Does this sound like a metropolis that’s assured within the security of its its bicycling infrastructure? I’m positive I’m repeating myself, however that’s like a restaurant that fingers out barf baggage.
Whereas I’m at it, I’d additionally prefer to query the “Supply Employee Outreach”–nothing in any respect in opposition to supply employees, or reaching out to them, however ought to it actually be a part of Biket Ober? It looks like this must be a stand-alone factor, since “bicycle” supply has advanced into one thing that not bears a lot resemblance to common bicycling; in actual fact, a lot of supply individuals aren’t even using bicycles in any respect, they’re using gas-powered motor scooters. So why not simply give them their very own month already? I just like the sound of “Deliveryvember,” it rolls off the tongue like a supply bike off the curb.
After all, there was as soon as a time when bicycle supply conjured up pictures of city outlaws on racing bikes carving by way of visitors:
Now it seems extra like this:
And as an alternative of sporting a series round your waist and thumbing your nostril on the company world you’re working for the enterprise capitalists and wrestling along with your key fob:
However that’s not stopping individuals from paying homage to the romantic picture of the now-extinct bicycle messenger:
And interesting in competitors that has nothing to do with delivering something, like pulling off actually lengthy skids:
[Like what does skidding have to do with delivering stuff? Is it what you do when you realize you just overshot the address?]
Or modeling their hairstyles:
Mockingly, the picture of the bike courier has seems nothing like “bicycle” supply in 2024, however bike courier vogue and workplace vogue have completely converged to the purpose the place they’re now indistinguishable, and should you see somebody who seems like a motorbike courier as we speak there’s a 99% probability they’re on their option to their job in an previous warehouse district that’s been reworked right into a tech hub:
[Outlaw office bro working on his TPS reports]
Then once more, using to work as an alternative of for work doesn’t seem like using a bicycle anymore, both:
I suppose that is what getting previous appears like.
