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Wednesday, November 5, 2025

The place Does The Time Go? – Bike Snob NYC


As a devoutly spiritual particular person I need to make at this time’s submit a brief one because it’s…what, what vacation is it once more?

[Conducts quick Internet search]

Rosh Hashugganah!

My references are as stale as that Energy Bar from 1998 you discover within the pocket of that outdated jersey behind your closet.

However sure, with faculties closed I need to strap on the parenting helmet, so it’s you who get the quick finish of the body pump:

Do not forget that? It even had a license plate!

Bloody Australians.

Certainly, so busy am I that yesterday all I had time for was a fast trip on George Plimpton’s Y-Foil, a.okay.a. The Charity Journey Destroyer, a.okay.a. the Pumpkin Spiced Nightmare:

It’s fairly seasonally acceptable, because it’s like using a two-wheeled jack-o’-lantern:

And it’s not simply the orange, purple, and black coloration scheme, both. It’s additionally the truth that each the Y-Foil and the jack-o’-lantern simply miss being menacing and as an alternative veer off into goofiness.

I’ve been trying to the Plimptonator when time is an element as a result of it’s the one bike I presently preserve in my precise residence, which implies I save valuable minutes not taking place to the basement. (Sure, a customer to my residence would possibly assume that’s my solely bike, which is extremely awkward for me.) Additionally, I do catch myself questioning if I’m really saving further time as a result of aero body and wheels. In that case, then the Y-Foil is the proper bike for the busy (and utterly unselfconscious) skilled–or slovenly semi-professional bike blogger, because the case could also be.

Additionally, as loud at it’s visually, it will possibly’t rival how really loud trendy highway bikes have turn into. The final time I rode over the George Washington Bridge onto the favored roadie route the remnants of my hair stood on finish the complete time as a result of incessant howling of disc brakes throughout me. And if it wasn’t the bikes baying on the moon, it was the hideous ratcheting of their silly high-decibel freehubs. RATTLERATTLERATTLE–HOOOOOONK! RATTLERATTLERATTLE-HOOOOOONK! How do folks stand for this? It’s all within the identify of “higher braking,” however I’d somewhat trip a quiet bike and go plummeting right into a ravine. Their bikes sound like they’re blowing the shofar:

And on that observe, Glad New Yr!

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