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Tuesday, September 16, 2025

Robust Attachments – Bike Snob NYC


As somebody who was as soon as the Web’s foremost chronicler of the minimalism motion, I seemingly perceive higher than anyone the sensation of freedom that comes with simplifying your life. So with the ‘Noner now re-homed, it occurred to me that I ought to hold the momentum going and ship one other bike packing too. However which?

Effectively, even with out the ‘Noner I’ve received extra street bikes than I would like for the time being, and so I figured it was lastly time to return the LeMond to Basic Cycle. However first I figured I’d take it for a fast farewell journey:

Just a few pedal strokes later, I made a decision I’m nonetheless not able to half with it. Why? It’s simply so good. This was the second time I’d determined to return it and chickened out; the primary was a couple of weeks in the past after I took a motorcycle field down from my storage shelf, opened it as much as pack the bike, then closed it and put it proper again up on the shelf.

This underscores the basic problem fancy street bikes pose to dirtbag cyclists similar to myself. See, dirtbag cyclists aren’t dirtbags as a result of they’re lazy or slovenly or neglectful. Quite the opposite; dirtbag cyclists are dirtbags as a result of they’re perfectionists. A featherweight carbon and titanium Dura-Ace-equipped race bike like LeMond appeals to the perfectionist hidden deep inside the dirtbag. Nonetheless, it additionally compels them to fuss and tweak and even (gasp) clear, whereas after they’re driving, say, an beat-up previous Faggin, it’s too far gone aesthetically for them to even hassle with, which is in itself a type of perfection. This permits them to chill out:

It’s like getting dressed as much as go to a flowery restaurant. Sure, the meals’s improbable, however you retain checking to ensure you didn’t get any sauce in your crisp white shirt. Through the top of the fixie craze this form of fussiness resulted within the prime tube pad phenomenon:

Which is like going to a flowery restaurant and sticking your serviette in your collar:

Now, contemplate the knowledge of the Buddhists:

They perceive that struggling is the basis of need. You need the good bike, and that hurts. You suppose getting the bike will make the whole lot all higher. However you then get the good bike nevertheless it nonetheless hurts, as a result of now you’re worrying about it as an alternative of having fun with it. That’s why the Dalai Lama nonetheless rides an previous fixie conversion with flop-and-chops despite the fact that these Himalayan roads could be the right excuse for him to purchase the latest and newest gravel bike in addition to plenty of gear from Rene Herse:

Social media is even worse. A elaborate bike could ship you right into a spiral of minute cockpit changes and cog-flossing, however on social media society’s the bike and also you’re the preening roadie who’s overly preoccupied with everybody else’s sock top:

Think about caring about so many ridiculous issues concurrently–and I say this as a motorcycle dork! That Tweet is an beautiful concerto of smugness. By the way, minimalists and advocates have loads in frequent. For instance, as I famous in the aforelinked publish, minimalists use all the identical crap the remainder of us do, however they prefer to brag about how they don’t personal it as a result of it technically belongs to their home associate:

And so do advocates:

Certain, you “don’t personal a automobile.” That is like having a vegan partner who is continually ending your turkey membership:

[“Here, just take it for chrissakes!”]

Or like a motorcycle blogger who laughs at individuals who obsess over social media whereas obsessing over what individuals are saying on social media:

And never simply stuff individuals are saying on social media, however stuff individuals mentioned on social media years in the past! I actually am pathetic.

At the very least I’ve largely stopped posting on social media, which is one thing, although now individuals suppose I’m useless:

Generally I’m unsure myself.

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